the muse

i wrote a pretty cool song today. i think...

the answer

recently i used the services at www.kgb.com to ask an obscure question that i couldn't really find a straight answer to on the web. they gave me my answer and now all is well. knowing i had this great power at my fingertips i couldn't resist asking my follow up question which was 'what is the meaning of life?' a couple minutes went by and no answer so i figured the computers at headquarters had self-destructed from overload but finally i got my answer:

There is no inherent meaning of life, but it doesn't mean that life should have no meaning'
-Nicholls

lame.

sweet dreams

last night i dreamt i went up to anne hathaway, asked her out, and she said yes. we danced and i eventually wound up making out with her.

action!

i'm doing new things. things i never ever would have ever dreamed of doing before, until now. so on a whim i contacted this lady on craigslist who said they needed an actor for a reenactment they were shooting for the 700 club. i told her bluntly that i have no acting experience. no school play, no drama class, not even a sketch in chapel (think george costanza when he walks up to the pretty woman at the bar and says 'my name is george, i'm unemployed and i live with my parents'). she said great, i showed up, and it went off without a hitch.

the story of the reenactment is like this: it's about a guy who was really into drugs, so much so that he began to rob to support his habit. he at one point was getting the hook up from a seedy dentist. that's where i come in. i play the dentist who was writing bogus prescriptions to support this guys habit for a brief time until he himself was busted. it's kind of cool because i'm currently sporting this really creepy pathetic mustache so it's almost like i was born for the part. in the end, the addict finds religion and all is well.

easiest $40 i ever made.

also, it'll air in about a month on the 700 club. g-ma would be so proud.

ain't it funny how time slips away

think about it. the 90's are now to this decade what the 80's were to the 2000's. if you are my age, then you were a little kid during the 80's. this means that during the 2000's the 80's probably felt like ages ago. now the 90's are ages ago. distant memories of reagan are replaced by distant memories of clinton. duran duran for alice in chains. neon for flannel.

doesn't it feel strange?

oh yeah

and i like a lady gaga song

the gayest things about me

are probably the following:

1. i use moisturizer on my face after i shower.

2. i'm obsessed with norah jones and sarah mclachlan

3. certain hollywood actresses take my breath away. to name a few:

kate winslet

anne hathaway

scarlett johansson

marilyn monroe

angelina jolie

4. i like to curl up with a good book and glass of wine with my cat in my lap.

no pics, sorry.

i'm afraid of americans

i read the news today and oh boy. the paper listed a number of the bills that are still alive and those bills that have been killed by the general assembly. i shit you not, here are a couple of bills still alive (with my drivel in italics):

Handgun purchases: Would repeal the state law that prohibits individuals from purchasing more than one handgun in a month. someone please tell me, besides Rambo, who the fuck needs to buy more than one gun a month? i am now laughing hysterically.

Guns in bars: Would allow individuals with concealed-carry permits to bring firearms into restaurants that serve alcohol as long as they don't drink. ha ha, i can't wait to see how this one plays out. I am now on the floor in pain from laughter.

now on to the bills that have been killed:

Gun show loophole: Would require a criminal background check of individuals seeking to purchase a firearm from a private seller at a gun show before a transaction is completed. you can't make this stuff up folks.

there are others but it's hard to type when you're in hysterics. i might be crazy, but these assholes in Richmond are the dangerous ones.

anything by tyler perry

wow, that stuff is just plain awful. absolutely awful. even if i was african american i wouldn't like it. probably offended is more like it.

i mean, what the hell is this (see below). i'm seriously offended for african americans.

if my two hands could
they'd conduct the sweetest symphony for you

man v. wild

wouldn't it be cool if bear grylls could not only show you how to survive in the wild but to do so while preparing for something really important? for example, you could be flying to a job interview when your plane suddenly goes down in the jungle. bear could show you not only the basics for survival but also how to shave with a pine cone or to make a suit out of leaves.

the sopranos

is the greatest show
ever.

change the world

right now. i dare you

rak

rak (random acts of kindness). just freaking do it. if you're selfish like me, it'll make you feel a whole lot better about yourself.

i used to be a thinker
but i don't think anymore
i used to be a drinker
but i don't drink anymore
then i started thinking
now i drink even more

if i could be a day, any day, i think i'd be some day
because on that day, all your dreams come true
then i'd be the man of your dreams

testing

i'll be back